>> diagnosis: endometriosis

To just dive right in, I'll start by saying my husband and I have been trying for a baby for almost four years. I am a firm believer that we will have children if that's God will for our lives, and no matter what, this is in His hands.

Recently, I started with basic fertility testing. I had the blood work to test my hormone level first, and those results came back good. Then I had an ultrasound to follow up on the status of my ovarian cyst that I found out about last September. This ultrasound revealed that not only was it still there, but it had grown from a little over 2 cm to a little over 4 cm in size. My doctor was concerned that it might be blocking ovulation on my right ovary, so we decided it needed to come out.

So yesterday I had my first surgery. It was a laparoscopic ovarian cystectomy along with a chromotubation (aka the "dye test" in which blue dye is shot into my uterus and an x-ray reveals whether or not anything is blocking the dye from going where it needs to go). 

My surgery was at 7:30 am, and my husband and I had to arrive at the hospital at 5:30 am.

I had done a pretty good job keeping my nerves at bay until the night before. I didn't sleep well and woke up around 1:30 am filled with anxiety just thinking about being put under anesthesia. I cried a little bit and prayed, reminding myself that God didn't give me a spirit of fear. Thankfully, I was able to fall back asleep until about 4:30 that morning, when we had to get up.

Once at the hospital, all the pre-op stuff went pretty smoothly. I got checked in, got my gown on, got my IV in and did a lot of waiting. Finally, right on time at 7:30, I said goodbye to Leslie and got taken up to surgery. I think the only reason I wasn't insanely nervous is that I know I was covered in prayer by friends and family.

 {looking rough pre-surgery...}

Here's what I remember about my experience with anesthesia: the anesthesiologist put the stuff in my IV and told me it might make me giggly. I told her that's not hard to do. Then they wheeled me next to the surgical bed and with a slightly wobbly feeling in my head, I slid from the bed I was on onto the new one. I remember thinking to myself that I wanted to stay as alert as possible to remember as much as I could. That's the last solid memory I have. I have a foggy memory of someone holding an oxygen mask over my mouth and telling me to take three deep breaths, and I have another foggy memory of someone sticking some kind of monitor to my left upper side and saying it might be cold. That's it.

While I was out, my doctor made two small incisions on my abdomen, one in my belly button and one right above my pubic bone. Apparently, she told my family afterwards that when she went in to get the cyst, it ruptured. The pictures she took of my uterus revealed something big. I have endometriosis. My doctor told my family that she believes this has been the reason for my infertility. But she was very positive that after some treatment, we should be able to get pregnant! While endo is not something anyone wishes for, to have a solid explanation just feels so good. And I'm thankful for the cyst that caused me to have this surgery that led to the discovery of a problem I needed to know about. I love how God works.

So after my surgery and dye test (which had positive results), next thing I remember is waking up around 9 am and being asked by a nurse what I'd like to eat and drink. Out of the choices I was given, I chose Sprite and graham crackers. Then my family came in to see me and I was so happy to see them. Of course my husband was there, along with my parents, sister, brother-in-law, niece and my mother-in-law. I never, ever want to take for granted that I have people that care about me and love me enough to show up for me. 

My mother-in-law walked around the hall with me for a little bit, which was so sweet and memorable. I was only slightly wobbly on my feet.

{I know what you're thinking. I've never looked hotter.}

Before long, I was ready to go home. I think it was around 11 that morning when I left. I was prescribed pain pills but only had to take one last night before bed. My biggest discomfort during recovery has been the gas in my abdomen and chest leftover from when they "blew me up" for surgery.

From here, the game plan is to get some kind of shot (I believe it's called Lupron) which is a treatment for endometriosis. I've heard it can have some pretty adverse affects, so I'm nervous about that but I'll know more once I meet with my doctor again. Mostly I'm just ready to get the treatment started and face any adversity with bravery and faith. I'm thankful I have a reignited hope for a pregnancy hopefully in the near future. I'm thankful for how God worked through my surgery to reveal answers. I'm thankful I had a positive experience with everything and that my nerves were stable. I'm so very thankful for my friends and family who have prayed, brought food over to my house, texted, and checked in on me. I'm blessed to feel so much love and support and I will never take that for granted.